Sometimes, I truly hate Katy.

She changed everything. She interfered with my plan. I wasn’t supposed to be here. But how can you leave behind someone who makes you smile just by looking at her? Why is it that when she tells you something that you’ve heard a million times, yet it’s like it’s never been said before when she says it? It takes on a whole new meaning. And I almost wish I had never heard any of her songs. Never went to the party where Lauren showed me IKAG. I wish I didn’t like her music. I wish I could be the person that rolls her eyes and switches the radio station when she comes on. I wish I could complain that she’s fake and obnoxious. If I could go back, I wouldn’t beg my dad to please let me get the TD album and I won’t ask for anything else. I wish I hadn’t become so emotionally attached to someone who barely knows I exist.

But at the same time, I don’t wish any of that. I’m truly so happy that she is the person in my life that makes me happy no matter what. I don’t get hurt by her, I can’t hurt her. And I can honestly believe it when she says I’m important. I love her with every fiber of my being. I don’t care if people tell me it’s not healthy. I don’t care if Abby tries to embarrass me in front of my piers for loving her. Because last time I checked, she isn’t the one Katy loves. She is the one digging her own grave because she doesn’t have Katy. I feel bad for her, in fact. That she can’t have someone like Katy in their life. 

I know I haven’t been a KatyCat since the beginning, but I can tell you that I will be there until the end.