February 2012
8 posts
8 tags
It's like I've completely forgotten how to be...
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I've grown so cold as I've grown older. I've...
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I guess there will always be a hollow place in my...
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Sometimes I'm overwhelmed with a sadness that...
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I'm constantly between almost happy and almost...
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I feel like screaming because I am so alone.
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Here’s what pisses me off;
We had this whole thing planned for weeks, you seem at least a tad onboard with me, too. But now you’re leaving me to deal with them, even though you are well aware of how much they affect me.
I don’t even know why I am crying right now, I am just so tired of people abandoning me at the exact moment I need them and I can’t handle it anymore.
12 tags
If I killed myself, I wouldn't want anyone to know...
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Every time I look in a mirror, I hear all the...
January 2012
36 posts
11 tags
5 Things No One Knows About Me..
1. In second grade, I went on my first diet. I had one Slim Fast drink a day and got up at 5 am to run on my treadmill.
2. I can’t remember a time where I didn’t think about dying
3. I started self harming from an early age. Whenever I had got in a fight, I would go into my room and dig my fingernails into my hair line and punch my head as hard as I could.
4. I tell people I lost...
11 tags
I want to be happy, I just don't know how.
9 tags
I hate you. But there's a tiny problem, because I...
12 tags
It doesn't matter how long we're apart, I'll...
17 tags
It's a significant thing, when someone pulls up...
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he held my arm and traced my scars, cursing to...
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I really need to cry, but I can't. I'm just empty.
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It's nice to have someone to talk to, but there's...
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that awkward moment when you're with a group of...
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If I ever have children, I want to let them decide who they love. I want to refrain from reading Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty, the ones who fall in love with boys. I’ll read them books about adventure, like Alice In Wonderland, Hansel & Gretel, Ugly Duckling. I never want to tell them that girls fall in love with boys, and vice versa. I want them to come home one day with a boy or a...
9 tags
Have you ever had that one person that you don't...
I had an awful relationship with this guy over a year ago. It was really fucked up, but in a nut shell, I was the other girl without my knowledge. He comes from a broken home, and has been abandoned by everyone. He has the most potential out of 98% of everyone I know, but spends his time not trying, using drugs, having sex, etc.
After cutting him out of my life, we have just begun talking...
1 tag
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I wish I could tell people how I really felt.
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I'm tired of breaking all the promises I can't...
19 tags
When I see a picture of cuts, the room spins. My...
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I want to call him. Text him.
I want to tell him to meet me in my old, abandoned room. I want to feel his skin on mine. I want to feel wanted again. It sounds so stupid and whiny. But I want stability. He’s what I know. It’s been over a year, and I still know him better than anybody. No feelings, just familiarity and a warm body that I know. A physical weight on my body, instead of the invisible one I carry on my...
11 tags
I push you away because it's easier than talking...
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I'm lost. But the worst part is that I'm not sure...
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3 tags
Katy is the only stable thing in my life right...
I’m moving again. Except this time, I don’t know where. It’s not two doors down. And I won’t be able to see my animals. I’m begging my mom to let me keep my cat, who makes me smile when I cry, but I don’t know yet.
I just feel like everything has turned to sand.
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I wish I didn't always feel so lonely.
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I made a new blog
I’m calling it my “recovery blog”. It’s where I can’t post depressing things- only things that make me happy. I recommend this highly to everyone on here.
Mine is here
I made the url “sheis-unstoppable” because I wanted to indirectly be speaking about myself. (To those who are not KatyCats/fans; these are lyrics from the end of “Pearl”) I...
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that moment when you're scrolling through your...
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I'll never feel good enough for anybody. Not my...
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I promise to stay, if you promise to never leave.
Anonymous asked: I found you because of your tags, But you should check out this blog. It's for people like us: people who have been hurt, abused and neglected and bullied. Please go visit and share your story. This girl is out to change the world. This is our year. Let's do this. It's called (bulliednomore tumblr com) i can't use links in here. Go to it please. PLEASE HELP THIS BLOG THRIVE
6 tags
KP
Sometimes, I truly hate Katy.
She changed everything. She interfered with my plan. I wasn’t supposed to be here. But how can you leave behind someone who makes you smile just by looking at her? Why is it that when she tells you something that you’ve heard a million times, yet it’s like it’s never been said before when she says it? It takes on a whole new meaning. And I...
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When my world was grey, you painted it rainbow.
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Do you even care that I can barely breathe? That...
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I want you so badly, but I know if I get close to...
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2012 Resolutions
lose 20 lbs. (the healthy way this time)
actually try and be happy
tell people how I’m really feeling, rather than lying
under no circumstance should I put a blade or flame to my skin
be there for people more
don’t get into a relationship, unless I’m 100% committed
Don’t drink to wallow in self pity or numb pain
no taking more than my dosage for medication
...
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I sometimes think that maybe, there isn't anyone...
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there are a lot of things I want to say, but can't...
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I wonder if anybody would notice if I slowly...
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Katy & Russell
I haven’t been able to think about this entire situation without crying. The first thing I thought about was what he wrote in this book-
For Katy.
This is my past.
You are my future.
I know there are all sorts of rumors about who wanted to divorce who, who’s fault it was, who this, who that. But really, does it matter? A marriage ended. Not only any marriage, to me. This marriage...
December 2011
67 posts
8 tags
I can't even imagine a life where someone could be...
2 tags
ignore. rant.
I’m a little tipsy, so my emotions might change by the morning;
I’m just kind of tired of decisions. I’m sick of debating on whether I should just off myself or stay and stay like this. I feel like I have so much, or maybe so little, I’m not entirely sure. I don’t even know how I feel about anything. I’m so incredibly confused. I don’t know if I’m...
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The thing with suicide is that if you don't...
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I want someone who can lay beside me with no...
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The problem is that you can't be with a broken...
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It's been exactly one year since I relapsed into...
Everyone in my house was screaming and yelling, it was awful. I was trying to help my mom out with something and she ended up saying something that caused me to shut down. So I went back to my room, and cut for the first time since June. I remember feeling disappointed in myself, but feeling so good for that second that I continued.
I feel like I was a completely different person last year....