1.  When I can hear my skin ripping.

2. dry/scaly/scabby/itchy skin.

3.  Flinching when someone touches my wrist.

4. When you can smell your skin rotting.

5. Feeling too shitty to disinfect your infected cuts.

6. When your cuts keep reopening.

7.  When it doesn’t make you feel better and you just keep going and going.

8. Smelling like blood.

9. Planing your whole day to avoid people seeing your cuts.

10. Realizing that it has taken over your life.

11. The sad look in the eyes of the people you love when they see your cuts.

12.  The awful lie “I’m okay.  I’m quitting.”

13. Going through a box of bandaids every week.

14.  The constant paranoia that somebody is going to find all of the bloody bandaids/tissues in your trash can.

15.  Feeling blood dripping down your wrist when there’s actually none there.

16.  Cleaning blood splatters off of everything.

17. Bleeding through bandaids and then your sleeves.

18. When you turn on the shower and the hot water falls on the cutting and it start to burn

19. When you have no choice but to put the adhesive part of the bandaid over unhealed cuts. Ripping it off and reopening the wound is the worst.

20. When people ask you why you’re wearing long sleeves.

21. Having to judge whether or not the room is dark enough for you to roll up your sleeves.

22. Bleeding on new/favorite clothes.

23. Sleeves over wrists to cover up the cuts and bracelets over sleeves to cover up the bloodstains.

24. How it becomes a solution for everything.

25. How it feels like you can never escape it. Even when you’ve quit it’s always there waiting.

26. Making deals with myself between the part of me that want to die and the part that doesn’t over how deep I’m allowed to cut.

27. Showing your cuts to psychiatrists

28.  How easily and quickly scars get sunburned.

29. Everything except for how good it makes me feel.

30.  Not being able to hear the words: cut, cutting, blood, pain, injury, etc. without vivid thoughts of self harm.

31.  How unbearably painful and/or itchy my scars get.

32. Those days where you really hate your scars.

33. How cutting in discrete places isn’t at all satisfying.

34. How rediculously paranoid I am that people can see and are judging my cuts and scars.

35. Wearing pants when you have cuts on your hips and thighs.

36. How as soon as you pick up the blade/knife you know you’re going to end up cutting.

37. How I can’t look at sharp object without judging how good they’d be for self harm.

38. How much it makes me feel like a stupid selfish cunt.

39. Wearing tight skinny jeans on top of thigh cuts.

40.  The extremely difficult art of wearing bathing suits without showing cuts/scars.

41. How badly cuts on your inner thighs hurt.

42. Taking off pants / underwear when you have cuts on your legs.

43. How uncomfortable it is to wear 100000000 bracelets to cover the scars

44. When the little fuckers get infected and wont heal.

45. How once you listen to a song while you cut it will always make you want to cut when you hear it.

46.  3/4 sleeve shirts.

47. How badly I want to be able to show off my scars.  I would feel so much less disgusting and alone. 

48. How happy I get when I underestimate how sharp a new blade is.  It’s disgusting.

49. How it doesn’t feel like a bad thing.

50. How I can think of 49 reasons why I hate cutting but I still love to do it.

(via: -justagirlinterrupted)