after a hurricane comes a rainbow

I love you

I’m trying to stay strong, but it’s hard when everything is tearing you down.

It’s hard for me to admit, but harder to ignore. When you kissed my scars my heart leaped, something I haven’t felt in years. Something I’ve been afraid of feeling for so long, something I’m still not sure I want to feel.

I want to pretend like you won’t leave me, despite knowing that you will.

Depression is like this; no matter how physically close you are to someone- you’re still empty. When someone makes you happy- you leave, in fear that they will leave you. Every sound is dull and lifeless, because that’s what you have become. The shell of who you once were.

It’s like I’ve completely forgotten how to be happy

I’ve grown so cold as I’ve grown older. I’ve pushed people out because I just can’t deal with anything anymore.

I guess there will always be a hollow place in my chest that is impossible to fill.

Sometimes I’m overwhelmed with a sadness that comes out of nowhere, and I don’t know what to do with myself.

I’m constantly between almost happy and almost suicidal.